Tips on how to taunt and annoy your human.
Well, I've found that there are many ways to do this. They are so easily annoyed, these humans. My favorite thing to do is stare at the closet and occasionally scratch at the door. This drives my human crazy. She thinks that I know of something in the closet that she can't see. This tactic is sure to get her up off the couch and make her walk toward the kitchen.
Another great trick is to sit in the bathtub and meow (or whimpering and barking will work for the non-feline readers). The bathroom is a good place for extra echo and volume, the bathtub really adds to the noise. My human comes running everytime I do this.You should see the look of panic in her face.
I have found that licking my human REALLY bothers her. So while I see her typing, I climb up next to her and I lick at her elbow. At first she will move just a little out of reach (but not that far) and then she starts waving her arms at me and she usually pushes me on the floor. But I do so love her reaction. You have to be careful with this one, your human may take a swat at you in an incredibly hostile manner if you are too effective.
Staring at your human works wonders. If you sit on the floor in front of your human and stare at him/her, you are bound to get some kind of reaction. The type of reaction depends on the human's state of mind at the time. Sometimes my human will reach down and pet me, sometimes she hands me food (mmmm...chicken), and sometimes she tells me to go away, but I always get a reaction. I think humans dislike the staring because they don't like being the center of our attention. We are supposed to receive attention from them but they aren't supposed to receive attention from us. At least in their minds, that is how it is supposed to be.
Another thing I have found that drives my human crazy is to clean myself loudly. To really make some good slurping noises. She hates the noise I make. It is so much fun to see her get annoyed by this. She really gets out of hand. I did hear her talking on the phone one day about her sister's dog, Romeo. Apparently he bites his nails and that noise drives her crazy too. I've just recently taken up the practice of biting my back claws (no front claws). This does indeed annoy her, especially when I sit on the couch next to her as I bite my nails.
I found an amazing noise that she says, "will wake the dead". There is a metal grate on her bedroom door. When I rub my paw down the grate it makes a loud, clanging, metallic noise. She was asleep and I was hungry when I discovered this, she sat straight up in the bed and threw something at me.
Well, that is all I can think of for now. I'll add more as I discover them.
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